Three Ghosts, One Mirror

Picture this: It’s late December, and you’re scrolling through your photos from the year. A team celebration you barely remember attending. A family dinner where you answered emails under the table. A conference where you gave a presentation you can’t quite recall. You’re there in every image, but were you really present?

Charles Dickens knew something about the power of reflection when he sent Ebenezer Scrooge on his journey through time in the book A Christmas Carol. Three ghosts. Three mirrors. Three chances to see what we often work so hard to avoid seeing. But here’s what strikes me about that story is that Scrooge didn’t seek out those ghosts. They came for him. They insisted he look. They refused to let him turn away from his own reflection.

Why do so many of us avoid the mirror?

The Ghost of Christmas Past doesn’t ask permission before showing us who we were. In my own reflection, I see a younger version of myself who said yes to everything, who believed being needed meant being valuable, who confused motion with meaning. I see the moments (lots of moments…let’s be honest) that I chose work over family, productivity over connection, success and achievement over joy. Not because I didn’t love my family or value my relationships, but because I genuinely believed there would be time later. Once “XYZ” was done. Once I proved myself. Once things settled down.

That ghost is uncomfortable to sit with. It shows me not just my mistakes, but my patterns. The ways I have repeatedly chosen the urgent over the important. The moments I missed while planning for future moments. The reflection isn’t cruel, it might feel that way, but it’s honest. And honestly, what I have learned is where transformation begins.

The Ghost of Christmas Present might be the most challenging of all. It asks us to see ourselves as we are right now, without the softening filter of nostalgia or the hopeful haze of future plans. This ghost shows us the truth of our current impact. How present are we in our own lives? In our leadership? With the people who matter most? The challenges we might be facing at work, at home, or personally, or all of the above crammed together.

When I look at my present reflection, I see someone still learning to be where she is. Someone who can be sitting at dinner while mentally drafting an email. Someone who says “I’ll get to that once this project is finished” more often than she would like to admit. Someone who is building a company around curiosity and presence while still catching herself living three steps ahead of the moment she is actually in.

The wondering here cuts deep: What am I missing while I am busy preparing for what’s next?

But it’s the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come that stops us cold in our tracks. This is the ghost most of us work hardest to avoid. Because this one doesn’t just show us what it might be, it shows us what it will be if we don’t change course. It reveals the cost of our current trajectory.

I think about my future ghost often now. What will she wish I had done differently? Will she regret the moments I am racing past right now? Will she wish I had held more tightly to the small joys instead of always reaching for the next milestone? Will she wonder why I was so unkind to the woman I am today where I am so quick to criticize, so slow to celebrate, so relentless in my demands?

The future ghost doesn’t show us what’s inevitable. It shows us what’s possible if we don’t look in the mirror and make different choices.

The Wondering

Why do we resist reflection when it’s one of the most powerful tools we have for growth? Perhaps because reflection requires us to acknowledge that we have had agency all along. That our schedules, our priorities, our avoidance, these have been choices, not just circumstances. And if they have been choices, then we are accountable for them.

Or maybe we resist because reflection demands that we see ourselves with the same compassion we should extend to others. That we stop treating ourselves like obstacles to overcome and start seeing ourselves as humans worthy of kindness, rest, and grace.

I am learning that reflection isn’t about judgment. It’s about acknowledgement. It’s about seeing clearly so we can choose differently.

My Intentions for 2026

I am not making resolutions or goals this year (by mid-January I normally have forgotten what they are or already made excuses why I can’t achieve them). I am making intentions. And I am writing them down here, in public, because accountability matters and because perhaps, they will resonate with you too.

• I intend to be more present. Not perfectly present, that’s not realistic or even desirable. But more present in my work, choosing to focus over constant reactivity. More present with the people I love, choosing connection over distraction or frustration at the circumstance.
• I intend to hold tightly to the little moments of joy. The beauty of the morning hour before the day accelerates. The unexpected laugh in a meeting. The text from my kids. The sunset I almost missed because I was staring at a screen. These aren’t small things. They are everything.
• I intend to stop saying “I don’t have time” or “I will get to it once things slow down.” These phrases have become my default, my shield against the uncomfortable truth that I do have time, and I am just choosing to spend it elsewhere. If something matters, I need to make the time. Full stop.
• I intend to be kinder to myself. To speak to myself the way I would speak to someone I am mentoring. To celebrate progress instead of only noticing what’s left undone. To understand that rest isn’t weakness and that I don’t have to earn my worth through relentless productivity.

These aren’t revolutionary intentions. They are simple. Embarrassingly simple. But simple doesn’t mean easy. These intentions require me to look in the mirror, really look, and make different choices every single day. I believe if I can do this, I will be a better leader, friend, spouse, and parent.

Your Turn

What would your three ghosts show you? What patterns would the past ghost reveal? What truths would the present ghost insist you see? What trajectory would the future ghost ask you to reconsider?

More importantly: What will you do with what you see in that reflection?

The power of Dickens’ story isn’t just that Scrooge saw his ghosts. It is that he changed. He woke up on Christmas morning and chose differently. Not perfectly. Not without difficulty. But differently.

We each wake up to our own version of Christmas morning every day. We get to see what the ghosts showed us and decide who we will be in response.

I am choosing presence over productivity. Joy over achievement. Kindness over criticism. Not because I have mastered these things, but because I am finally willing to look in the mirror and admit I haven’t.

What are you choosing? Stay Curious. Keep Wondering Why.

#KeepWonderingWhy #LeadershipDevelopment #AuthenticLeadership #ThoughtLeadership #SelfAwareness #IntentionalLiving #LeadershipGrowth