The Network Effect

Picture this: You are standing at the edge of a conference reception, coffee cup in hand, scanning the room. That familiar flutter of self-doubt whispers in your ear – “Should I interrupt that conversation? Will I sound interesting enough?” But there is also that other feeling, the one that gets you every time: genuine curiosity about the stories in this room waiting to be discovered.

Here is what I have learned after three decades in business, and what my dad taught me long ago: the relationships you build are what make you, and your business, truly unique. Not your credentials. Not your elevator pitch. It is the connections you nurture, how you treat people, and the ways you help people find each other. That is what people will remember.

The Gift of Good Training

My dad taught me early (probably too early, I think I was 10 when the lessons started) that networking was not about being the smoothest talker in the room. It was about asking two simple questions and meaning them at the end of every conversation: “Is there someone else I should be talking to?” and “Can you introduce me?”

And then, this was the non-negotiable part, always follow up. Your word is your reputation. If you say you will send that article, send it. If you promise to make an introduction, make it. If you commit to reconnecting, put it in your calendar.

I still get shy. I still battle that inner voice that questions whether I have anything valuable to contribute. But I also genuinely love hearing people’s stories. What drives them, what challenges they are wrestling with, what they are building. And that curiosity, it turns out, is more powerful than any amount of self-doubt.

Work the List (Because People Are Worth Remembering)

The best networkers are not just naturally gifted at remembering people. They care enough to create systems that help them remember.

I keep notes in Outlook. Not because I am obsessive, but because I am not naturally great with names, I am pretty good with faces, but story, I am all in. My system allows me to remember the people are worth remembering:

• Where and when we met
• What their story was (the real story, not just their job title)
• What they were working toward or struggling with
• Personal details that made them human
• Attach a photo if appropriate

For example, when I reach out six months later and reference that we met at ILTM North America and ask how their team’s new initiative is going, it’s not a technique. It is genuine interest supported by a system that helps my imperfect memory honor the connection.

The Questions That Open Doors

After you have had a genuine conversation, ask: “Who else in your network should I know?” And just as importantly: “Who in my network could be valuable to you?”

These are not transactional questions. They are generative ones.

When you connect with people who can help each other, you become memorable not for your pitch but for your ability to see possibilities. Some of my best client relationships came from someone who said, “You should meet…” And some of the most meaningful connections I have facilitated had nothing to do with my business, they were simply about recognizing that two people I knew needed to know each other.

That is the magic of networking when you do it right: everyone wins.

Five-Minute Network Audit

Set a timer for five minutes and ask yourself:

• Who is one person you have been meaning to reconnect with?
• What was meaningful about our last conversation?
• What is one genuine question I could ask them right now? (Not “How are you?” but something that shows you remember their story)
• Who do I know that they should know?
• What is my commitment? (Reach out today? This week? Make an introduction?)

When the timer goes off, send one message. Just one. Make it genuine. Then put the follow-up reminder in your calendar.

The Wondering

What if networking is not about overcoming shyness or battling self-doubt? What if it is about letting your curiosity about people’s stories be stronger than your uncertainty about your own?

Who in your network have you been meaning to reconnect with? Who would benefit from meeting someone else you know? And what would change if you thought about your network not as a contact list but as a living ecosystem of relationships?

The Honest Intention

I still get nervous walking into rooms full of strangers. I still second-guess myself before reaching out to someone I admire. I still sometimes let too much time pass before following up.

But I keep showing up. I keep asking questions. I keep making the introductions. Because I have seen what happens when you build relationships with intention and honor your commitments, doors open that you did not even know existed.

Your network is not just who you know. It is how you know them, how you stay connected, and how you help them connect with each other. And your word? That is the foundation of it all.

Keep wondering why those relationships matter. And then do the work that turns connections into community.

What about you? Who is one person in your network that deserves a genuine check-in this week?

The wondering continues. Stay Curious. Keep Wondering Why.

#KeepWonderingWhy #NetworkingStrategy #RelationshipBuilding #BusinessDevelopment #LeadershipDevelopment #AuthenticLeadership #ProfessionalGrowth